Trust God!

Hard times energize some people, yet paralyze others. Look at David. Everything he touched turned to gold: Samuel anointed him to be king; he defeated Goliath; Saul chose him as a musician and warrior; the army loved him and wrote songs about him. Then his life fell apart. He lost his job and his marriage failed; Samuel his old mentor died his best friend Jonathan couldn't help him and Saul's soldiers hounded him until he had to hide in a cave.

At some point, we all do time int he cave! It's where you end up when all your earthly supports are gone. It's where you learn important things about yourself that you can't learn anywhere else. It's where God does some of his best work in molding you into the likeness of Christ. It's where your worst inadequacies confirm that you're out of your depth and where God sends His power to flow through your weakness. When David prayed, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living," he had no idea there was a crown in his future, or that he wasn't going to die in hiding. For all he knew, this cave he was in right now might be as good as it gets. When you're in a situation you can't fix, can't change and can't escape, trust God! Trust God! Trust God! As long as your sense of security is tied solely to your success, it'll always be fragile. But when you know that God is with you even at your lowest point, you can handle the cave and come out stronger!

On Love

The difference between physical attraction and love is the ability to see the same person at their best and at their worst and still desire without one false step.

Not Finding the Right Words

It's hard the leave behind the people that have been such a big part of your life. It's hard to leave not knowing when you'll ever be back. It's just as hard to leave something that you've put so much effort and love into. It gets even harder when you're forced to leave. It's almost insane.

As hard as it is for you to leave, it's just as hard for me to be left behind and it's hard to accept why. Know that I miss you and am always looking forward to you being back.

I've always believed that should one door close on you, another will open for you elsewhere. In the meanwhile, I wish you all the best in whatever you're called to be doing. I can't wait for you to be back. Really I do.

Goodbyes are hard to deal with. Hopefully, this is no more than a temporary goodbye. And make that a short one too.

Miss you, love you, praying for you and am always no more than a phone call away. And you know where I live if you ever need me. :)

DnMs

I feel that I'm getting too angry too easily, too snappy too easily, too impatient too easily and I cool too easily too quickly. It's been a mad day. A whirlwind of emotions flowing through everything right from 12mn to present. I meant to write about how no one saved prawn dumplings for me but I've already cooled. So that's that. As long as I stay in my room, I should be good. :)

The me that a lot of people don't see is soft-hearted, gives in too easily, can't stay angry at you for long and will make it up to you even if you're the one in the wrong or if I scold you. I'll rarely tell you that you're annoying me. If I do say it, you may be annoying me but not that severely. But last night was just different. I was still nice but I didn't expect the boldness from me.

I unexpectedly talked for 8 consecutive hours with different people, from 12.30am to 8.30am and finally went to bed at 9am. It was at times painful but most of the time heartfelt, honest, and necessary. I still haven't been completely honest with you yet. There's still a bit more that needs to be said and it actually cannot really wait but I haven't found the courage to tell you. So until then, you will be kept in the dark. We've hinted to you before but you're probably too dense to get it.

I'm so proud of myself and what I did. I of course couldn't do it without my best friends. You guys are the awesomest. And I'm so amazed with the way you took everything, it was truly amazing. It wasn't always easy for you I could tell and I was actually scared at first but somehow everything just flowed. When we first started talking, I wanted to bash you up. Good thing you were not near enough for me to do so. But I gradually stopped being mad at you. I just wanted you to know everything that was going through my head. I just wanted everything between us to be back to normal. I just wanted us to be comfortable around each other again. I felt so relieved too when I could tell you everything that was bothering me. I've made up so many stories to avoid having to talk to you but the best relief was not having to hide anything from you.

This just reiterated that communication is so important. It's so important to talk and to let the other person know what's going through your head. We can't always expect others to know what we're thinking but I find that it's so hard for me to be honest about what I feel and how I think especially with the people that matter to me.

Anyways, I couldn't do without you. I already have family here in Perth and don't exactly need more family but you've managed to creep in and become family. Despite everything, just know that at the end of the day, no matter how angry I am or seem, I love you!

All Over Again

Yesterday was a rare opportunity of a night that I spent with a friend of mine. Just us, not having to care about anything, having no agenda in mind, just simply hanging out and being able to talk about anything that I felt like. Being able to be free with him and just annoying him, despite the rare opportunities, the night felt so familiar.

I do realize, I've been gone from a lot of places far too long. But just being back in familiar territories allows me to feel safe and loved. Most times.

The Missing Piece

For the times that we've chosen to give that bit of our heart away to the one we loved and have had to watch that person walk away from us with that bit of our heart and us not knowing if we will ever be complete again. That bit that was everything to us.