Dream, Dreamy, Dreaming...

Looking at all the various pictures on Facebook of people's holidays makes me jealous!!!

I loves taking pictures especially of picturesque places. When I'm on holiday and the camera's in my hand, snapshots of the night sky, the city skyline, the trees, the buildings, sceneries, sunsets, etc will be captured. My special ability is to expertly place myself in a beautiful picture of the scenery around me. I almost always successfully include myself in great shots! Hahahaha... Okayy... So I cam-whore well.

My point though is I need more pictures!!! I miss going on holiday. I miss being in an aeroplane, I miss sleeping in a hotel bed, I miss being in a foreign country, I miss confusing myself over the time and currencies of the new place.

Here's where I wanna be.

Prague

Las Vegas

Austria

Disneyland :)

Of course there are heaps more other places that I wanna visit, Kenya, Hong Kong, Seychelles, Paris, Tioman, Penang, Shanghai, Tokyo, Hokkaido, Sydney, Goa, Gold Coast, Los Angeles, Manila, Palawan, Dubai, etc etc...

Meanwhile, it's work hard work hard, save up enough money for my year end graduation trip. :) Before I think about anything else though, I need lunch.

Hungry.

7th September 1985

I find out today, my parents and the J Anthonys' parents share the same wedding anniversary. Same date, same year, just different country.

7th September 1985 marks the start of two awesome families. Mine and yours. You can imagine my excitement! I rush to tell Abby, Mom and Matt!

Joyce! It's meant to be!

Angel's Lullaby

Dear Ashley

I was never alive
Till the day I was blessed with you
When I hold you late at night
I know what I was put here to do
I turn off the world
And listen to you sigh
And I will sing my Angel's Lullaby

Know I'm forever near
The one you can always call
Right now all you know to fear
Are the shadows on your wall
I'm here close enough
To kiss the tears you cry
And I will sing my Angel's Lullaby

So tell me how to stop the years from racing
Is there a secret someone knows
I'll never catch all the memories I'm chasing
Never be ready to let go

And when the world seems cold
And you feel that all of your strength is gone
There may be one tiny voice
Your reason to carry on
And when I'm not close enough
To kiss the tears you cry
You will sing your Angel's Lullaby

Let this be our Angel's Lullaby

Love Che Che

COKE LIters

TEACHER:How many liters does a Coke litro have?

PUPIL: Four liters ma'am!

TEACHER: Are you sure?

PUPIL: Yes ma'am! Liter C, Liter O, Liter K, and Liter E!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

It's been a long time since I heard Filipino jokes... Miss them... Especially Pedro.. :D

I'll Be There

You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back

Where there is love, I'll be there

I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name and I'll be there

I'll be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love that's strong
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after
Whenever you need me, I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name and I'll be there

If you should ever find someone new, I know he'd better be good to you
'Cause if he doesn't, I'll be there
Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah
I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there

(Just look over your shoulders, honey - oo)

I'll be there, I'll be there, whenever you need me, I'll be there
Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah

I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there...

-Jackson 5-

ps.. i miss you. you know where to find me.. *hint hint*

Biffley Calls

It's been a sad and lonely Monday...

I've come to terms with the fact that you're now gone. I'm sad to no longer have you by my side but to know that though the walking distance to your house is greater, you're still only a call and text away, and that is enough to make me stop crying.

You have no idea how much those 2 phone calls made me smile. I really had no idea that it was you the first time and when I heard your voice, I felt a rush thru me. . It's so different from when we Skyped earlier. That Skype thing made me cry so much.... :(

So I lied when you called. I was tired from a whole day of feeling sad, crying and writing and I'd just emailed you heaps of stuff. Then Abby and I were both talking and wondering whether you had arrived yet and how you were, etc... but she had to sleep so I too decided to get some sleep but was finding it hard to sleep. I was almost asleep and then I heard the phone ring and I picked it up sleepily. And then I heard your voice and I wanted to talk to you. And it was all I needed to stay awake. Actually no. It was all I needed to hear to have a good night's sleep. Cos after you put down, I slept smiling. And then you called a second time. This time round, it was different. I picked up the call in my sleep knowing that it was you calling. It was like our late night chats all over again... It was like good nights all over again. I was so awake after the call.

I miss all our good times and silliness together, and simply just being Abby, Tiffy & Yohaan. :)

You irritating lahhh... Why you have to go??? But you promised to talk to me everyday :) And if you don't, I can _ _ _ _ you for each day that you don't. :D I miss you heaps... And I look forward to seeing you again. Whenever that may be.

Meanwhile, you take care and remember that I love you :)

Don't Let Go

I can't believe this moment's come
It's so incredible that we're alone
There's so much to be said and done
It's impossible not to be overcome
Will you forgive me if I feel this way
Cuz we've just met - tell me that's okay
So take this feeling'n make it grow
Never let it - never let it go
(Dont let go of the things you believe in)
You give me something that I can believe in
(Dont' let go of this moment in time)
Go of this moment in time
(Don't let go of things that you're feeling)
I can't explain the things that I'm feeling
(Dont' let go)
No, I won't let go

Now would you mind if I bared my soul
If I came right out and said your'e beautiful
Cuz there's something here I can't explain
I feel I'm diving into driving rain
You get my senses running wild
I can't resist your sweet, sweet smile
So take this feeling'n make it grow
Never let it - never let it go

I've been waiting all my life
To make this moment feel so right
The feel of you just fills the night
So c'mon - just hold on tight

-Bryan Adams feat. Sarah McLachlan-

Our friendship was never meant to end. At least not in that awful way. With you, I don't let go.

Hero

Let me be your hero

Would you dance if I asked you to dance?
Would you run and never look back
Would you cry if you saw me crying
Would you save my soul tonight?

Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh oh please tell me these
Now would you die for the one you love?
Hold me in your arms tonight?

I can be you hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

Would you swear that you'll always be mine?
Would you lie would you run away
Am I in to deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care you're here tonight

I just want to hold you
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
Well I don't care you're here tonight

You can take my breath my breath away
I can be your hero

-Enrique Iglesias-

Passport Power

Whether or not you actually leave, it's all within my control. I have with me here, your passport. :)

The power I possess, I know so many who would love to possess. It's gonna be hard seeing you go. Especially since I'm not even sure if I'll still be here when you come back but I know God has a better plan for you, going home. I'm sure that family is one of them. Thank you for being a part of my family for the last 4-5 months and for being my best friend. We really miss you. All SEVEN of us!

Take care & god bless you always...

Love always.... Tiffy :)

Ps... Abby & I claim godmother rights to your children! One boy and one girl each. :)

Inspirator

I did think of having a blog some time before this but could never think of a name or the inspiration to write. This blog was created by 2 friends and the name inspired by someone who plays a rather annoying yet fun part in my life.

To the person who inspired the blog name, this post I dedicate to you. (And write only when you are in the comforts of your bed so you cannot spy on me) :)

So you've found out the existence of this blog. I have for the longest time been resisting telling you about it because of its name. You know I usually don't keep you in horrible suspense but this was just one of those times when it was necessary. Your reaction when you found out just confirmed that I should have continued keeping mum about this. Gosh. The things you force out of me just by being you. Ewww....

So anyways, I said that I would one day blog about how annoying you are. But for starters, I think I'll be nice. Simply because its more my natural nature to be nice. :)

So here goes...

Don't worry too much about feeling ignorant about my feelings and about me. You are bad but fear not, there is always room for improvement. I've had heaps of fun times with you and I love how you are able to cheer me up when I'm down. Thank you for being there when I needed someone to talk to today. I had a lot of other stuff in my head, that I was gonna write about. But now that I've reached this part, I can't seem to remember what I wanted to write. Anyways, just be happy with this. You're special to me and I really do treasure you. I may seem to be flighty, hopping from one friend to another but don't worry. I'll always remember you :) It also means, you cannot fulfil your wildest dreams of getting rid of me cos I'll always come back to you.

Love you, bye!

For the First Time

She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart
While I'm drinking Jack all alone in my local bar
And we don't know how how we got into this mad situation
Only doing things out of frustration
Trying to make it work but man these times are hard

She needs me now but I can't seem to find a time
I've got a new job now in the unemployment line
And we don't know how how we got into this mess it's a God's test
Someone help us cause we're doing our best
Trying to make it work but man these times are hard

But we're gonna start by drinking old cheap bottles of wine
Sit talking up all night
Saying things we haven't for a while, a while yeah
We're smiling but we're close to tears
Even after all these years
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting
For the first time

She's in line at the door with her head held high
While I just lost my job but didn't lose my flight
But we both know how how we're gonna make it work when it hurts
When you pick yourself up you get kicked in the dirt
Trying to make it work but man these times are hard

But we're gonna start by drinking old cheap bottles of wine
Sit talking up all night

Doing things we haven't for a while, a while yeah
We're smiling but we're close to tears
Even after all these years
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting
For the first time

Drinking old cheap bottles of wine
Sit talking up all night

Saying things we haven't for a while
We're smiling but we're close to tears
Even after all these years
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting
For the first time
For the first time
Oh, for the first time
Yeah, for the first time

Oh these times are hard
Yeah they're making us crazy
Don't give up on me baby

-The Script-

$42.30

Hi! May I take your order?

Erm... Give us 5 mins.

So what do you guys want?

I don't know. Starving.

Double quarter pounder again??? :D:D:D

Hahahahaha... Erm yes? Hahahahahaha!!!!

Okay wait. Toilet first.

Ok bye...

(walk to cafe section)

Ooooooooo.... Cookies and cream cheesecake..

Ooooo... Yessssss

Oh how about warm triple chocolate cake...

Ohhh I show you. Nice muffin.

How about Mud Muffin?

Oh nice... I like that...

(distraction)

Blueberry Muffin!

Oh look at this other cake.. So nice. I love this.

Look at this cake! So nice!

This one!

Oh how about this one!

See this!! See this!!!!

(blah blah blah)

Ok ok.. Decide what we want.

Mud Muffin share ok?

Erm.... Can we have more than 1?

(walks out of toilet)

Hey... What do you want? From here. The desserts.

(scans desserts)

Cookies and cream cheesecake!

OMG!!!!!!!!!

She wants want that!

Warm chocolate cake?

Only if I get a dollop of ice cream on it.

Erm.. How about Blueberry Muffin?

Yes!

OMG!!!!!!! I love you!!

Okkkk.. Let's go? Order?

Hi! Erm. Can I have 3 Double Quarter Pounder meals.

(sniggers)

What do you want for drinks?

Erm... Can I have a coffee?

What kind?

Cappuccino.

You you? What drink you want?

You like Fanta? Fruit Fizz?

Ok Fruit Fizz.

1 Fruit Fizz.

What you want?

Fanta? Fruit Fizz?

Fruit Fizz is mine.

Oh you too?

Okay 2 Fruit Fizz. No ice please.

And can we have a Cookies and Cream cheesecake.

And yes? A Blueberry Muffin.

Do you want it warmed?

Yes :)

Okay so you have 3 Double Quarter Pounder meals, 1 Cappuccino, 2 Fruit Fizz, 1 Cookies and Cream cheesecake, 1 Blueberry Muffin.

And erm can we add one Angus the Third on its own?

Is that all? Total $42.30

Oh God... We're eating so much....

(Food gets set on the trays)

Hey guyss.. Can we not eat anything until we sit down and I get a picture?

Okayy..

(Everyone grabs fries.)

(HAHAHAHA!!!!)

I knew I shouldn't have said that. Cos I instantly felt like having a fry after saying that...

Hmmm... I wonder if we can get butter.

Here you go. Muffin and cheesecake.

Hey look! You got butter!

Wheeee!!!!

Ok eat!!

And perhaps...

The unthinkable, the impossible, the taboo, I've just done it.

I think all I really wanna achieve out of all this is just to know that you'll be there for me. Nothing else.

And perhaps to know that I still mean something to you.

Beautiful Monster

All my life
And the hereafter
I've never seen
Seen one like you

You're a knife
Sharp and deadly
And it's me
That you cut into

But I don't mind
In fact I like it
Though I'm terrified
I'm turned on scared of you

Chorus:
She's a monster
Beautiful monster
Beautiful monster
But I don't mind

And I need her
Said I need her
Beautiful monster
But I don't mind

No I don't mind (I don't mind I don't I don't mind...)
No I don't mind (I don't mind I don't I don't mind...)
No I don't mind (I don't mind I don't I don't mind...)
No I don't mind (I don't mind I don't I don't mind...)

In her eyes
There's love and fire
In my heart
She's burning through

But I don't mind
In fact I like it
Though I'm terrified
I'm turned on scared of you

Chorus:
She's a monster (she's a monster)
Beautiful monster (beautiful monster)
Beautiful monster (beautiful monster yeah)
But I don't mind (don't mind)

And I need her (and I need her)
Said I need her (said I need her)
Beautiful monster (whooah)
But I don't mind (I don't mind)
But I don't mind

Playing with my heart
And she's playing with my mind
And I don't mind I don't I don't mind
No I don't mind I don't I don't mind
No I don't mind I don't I don't mind
No I don't mind I don't I don't mind

And I don't mind
Said I don't mind
And I don't mind
Beautiful monster

She's a monster (she's a monster)
Beautiful monster (beautiful monster)
Beautiful monster (oooo)
But I don't mind (but I don't mind)

And I need her (and I need her)
Said I need her (said I need her)
Beautiful monster (beautiful monster)
But I don't mind (ooooo)
No I don't mind

No I don't mind (I don't mind I don't I don't mind...)
No I don't mind (I don't mind I don't I don't mind...)
No I don't mind (I don't mind I don't I don't mind...)
No I don't mind (I don't mind I don't I don't mind...)

-NeYo-

Colorblind

And it's not just a game
You can't throw me away
I put all I had on the line
And I give and you take
And I played the high stakes
I've won and I've lost
But, I'm fine

Hear me say I'll rise up 'til the end
Hear me say I'll stand up for my friends
And I crash to the ground
And it's just my own sound
I drop in the blink of an eye
I'm colorblind

And your milky way fight
Won't stop my delight
You keep me and lock me away
And it's dark and it's bright
It's your colorful pride that kept me here 9000 days

Hear me say I'll see the sky again
Hear me say I'll drive for you my friend
There's a noise in the crowd
But it's just my own shout
A stumble I fall and I pray

Hear you say your eyes see green again
In the end we'll lived up holding hands
Yes, we'll spark in the night
We'll be colorblind
And these are the lives we gave

Hear me say I'll rise up 'til the end
Hear me say that I'll stand beside my friends
I won't stay on the floor
I will settle the score
A stumble I fall and I pray

Hear me say it's time we stop talking
Eye to eye we see a different face
Yes we we've conquered the war
With love at the core
A stumble I fall, but I'll stay
Colorblind.

-Overtone-

What Mom Said

Two things Mom said to me today:

1. Young people always need to have fun.

2. Young people always need to feel loved.

Yes, Mom somehow seems to know best. The things I need to hear to feel reassured that I'm not going crazy. :)

Things have been crazy recently. A whirlwind, a rush. Simply just a whole box of confusion. Things haven't been sorted out, in case you are interested to know. Problems don't just get resolved overnight. We more often than not have to work hard for what we want.

There's just so much going on right now. It'll be good to have some time out to take things nice and slow but I know now's not the time to be going slow, especially with Uni.

This Girl

My Questions, Your Answers?

I guess what I really wanna say to you is that how can a person change overnight? How can a person suddenly stop caring about someone they used to care about so much before? How much is too much and how can I let go? Who's gonna fill the new void in my life? What happened?

Friends never stop caring. That's what I hope is true.

I just spent two hours pouring my heart out to you, bringing you up to date with what's been happening in my life after having not had such a personal conversation with you in say 3-6 months? With you, I sometimes wonder how we maintain our friendship. How despite everything, the distance, the time spend apart, how do I trust you at the end of the day? And why do I seem to / want to run to you / look for you when I have problems?

You asked me if I wanted answers. I'll tell you the same thing again. I'm ranting. And at the same time I wish you had all the answers for me.

Comfort Zone

It seems that every time I go to camp/retreat, I'm forced out of my comfort zone in some way. Sometimes it's getting put with people I'm not familiar with, being out of the service team, being a DGL, being in a different group away from friends, being in a place I don't like, etc. The one I hate most is being away from friends.

This time round, this retreat, I've got my 2 best friends with me and though we've each got our different roles, it will be great to know that anytime I need them, they'll be there for me. I am however, still missing 4 great friends who can't be there with me. They've each dropped out of the camp one by one. Slowly but surely. And that alone, is enough to shake me. I keep wondering what I'm gonna talk to people about, who I'm gonna hang out with, whose team I'm gonna be in, whom I'm gonna eat with, work with, etc etc. I'll tell you I'm socially awkward but you won't believe me. I don't make friends easily and that's why it's hard when I'm put in a situation without my close friends. I'm uncomfortable.

One thing that does stay consistent is that I'm always a part of the music team. I like it. That despite everything, I've still got one comfort zone. My black and white comfort zone.