So vocation don't apparently equal priesthood or religious life as I just found out. It's about 3 different possible paths in life. Religious life, marriage, and consecrated single. The concepts are not too difficult to grasp but the process of discerning which one your life is destined for is hard.
It's been ages since I last heard the word discernment being thrown at me. I was always told to discern in the past. I never gave it much thought. For each and every thing I used to do in YFC, my Kuyas, Ates, Titos & Titas would always remind me to discern and pray about it. i always thought that it was about pondering over what to do and then praying for the confidence and the humility to do the tasks of servants.
I've been triggered. I can wait I have to say. I'm fearful about what's in store for me. What if what's in store for me is not what I want? How am I going to reconcile the two? Past experiences tell me you cannot fight God. If you wanna do what you think is best for yourself, he will let you do it. But at the expense of him not being by your side.
I couldn't help but wish for more faith in my life and to be back doing what i was doing before in YFC. God was close. And I miss that closeness and my reliance on him.
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